It's like God shit irony all over that family
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
