Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
