is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are we still banned from the library?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
