I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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