sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
