when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
