Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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