You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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