so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
