Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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