Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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