I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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