was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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