Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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