threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
