I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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