I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize