shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
