She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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