What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
