I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
