it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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