I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
