It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Shame - the story of my life.
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