Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
