the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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