Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
