Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
this is an emotional support booty call
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
