I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
