Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
