I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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