What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
