were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't notice because vodka
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
