It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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