Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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