i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
