Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
