I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
