We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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