HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
