i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
