so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
