Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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