Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
