is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
