after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize