I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
