At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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