So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
