Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
