you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
