I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
