maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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