that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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