Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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