So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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