My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Someone signed my nipple.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
