We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
