I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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