I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
