Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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