I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
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