Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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