I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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