when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
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