i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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