i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He kissed a someone with a penis
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
