We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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