doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
