You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
