hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
