everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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