i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
