Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
