He asked to "fluff my boner.."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize