Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
