Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
