He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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