I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
